So I was having a conversation with a male friend who thought equality was the way to go. The conversation actually started by way of a picture he put up on his timeline which said, ‘men of quality do not fear equality’. So I started by saying you don’t have to be afraid of something to oppose it, for example I’m not afraid of butter but I prefer mayonnaise to butter. He says before you can oppose a thing, there must have been a deposit of disinterest that is surrounded by some kind of emotion. You may not fear it for the sake of fear, but for its consequences. And that I may not dislike butter for its name but because it nauseates me so nausea is the fear. I put forward yet another- I do not hate brushing twice daily but I just don’t brush twice daily. He says I may not brush twice but I’m not opposed to brushing twice, the equivalent according to him will be that I don’t campaign for equality but I’m not opposed to it i.e I don’t hate/fear it)…
To cut to the chase, I do not believe in equality and I do not know one African man or woman who does ( I say this because the man carrying the card in my friend’s picture is black, African). Nonetheless, I believe men white or black who support equality are incapable of walking the talk- it’s just so hypocritical. And women, do they really want equality?
Okay what is equality? My friend says it’s the equal treatment of people irrespective of social, cultural or gender difference. The dictionary says the same. Another says it’s the state of being equal: rights, treatment, quantity, or value equal to all others in a specific group. Now, is that feasible? Practicable? Nope. Equality is not even biologically possible talk less of socially or politically and what have you. For example because of equality now, men are getting paternity leave? Who are we deceiving? Whose productivity is being affected? Pretty soon, men will begin to get married men’s tax exemptions like their female counterparts. And the wheel of competition will keep on rolling. Moreover, there are biologically defined roles we cannot tamper with. How many men will stay at home and look after the baby on paternity leave, a woman will do that because it’s biologically imposed on her. Equality says what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. But equity says to each according to his need, from each according to his ability.
Equality says what a man can do a woman can do also but woman no dey tap palm wine o. That’s by the way. The real problem here is that the argument is lopsided. Nobody is saying what a woman can do, a man can do also. So in a way, it degenerates into competition, unnecessary competition. Women are leaving their roles for men’s but men are not leaving theirs for women’s. So nobody’s minding the woman’s business while she’s away in the man’s world and then crisis sets in.
On a closer consideration, do women really want equality? I know a friend who once joked that his girl friend will have to carry her load all by herself since she wants equality and what a man can do a woman can do better, she should carry the load ‘better’. Lol. A policeman would ordinarily let a woman go without all the routine ‘where are your particulars’ grilling because she’s only a woman and she looks harmless more often than not. Well let’s have equality and let everyone be grilled in the same manner after all criminals don’t write it on their forehead. Do women want to go Dutch? I’d bet that’s not what women want, what we really want is to be given a fair chance when we possess the same qualifications as a man for an opportunity, not to be ditched in favour of the man of same capabilities as us; but definitely not to be shouldered with obviously masculine responsibilities or duties in the name of equality. That is what I call equity. If I work as much as a man does, I want to get paid as high as he gets, that’s equity. If I have the same experience as a man in a particular field or matter, I want to be trusted to handle it as good as he would, that’s equity. Women want to be given a level playing field to work our brains and not our bodies up to the top.
Equity also says I will load you with the burden you can carry, accord you the credits you merit and shoulder you with the blame you deserve notwithstanding your sex so inasmuch as women want to be given fair chances, they do not just want to be excused because ‘she’s only a woman’, she wants to take responsibility for her faults and recognition for her success. That is what women want.
You know all these talk about equity reminds me of our equity and trust lecturer, always having something on the feminine gender, when a lady comes late to class, he sermonizes on how ladies are always the one coming late, when a lady takes permission to go to the ladies, he lectures on how ladies are always swift to take excuses to leave the class, meanwhile he does not hesitate to declare to the whole class that the lady is going ‘to perform a non delegable duty’ so everyone knows she’s going to the ladies. I remember this particular day he kept on and on about ladies someone had to ask if he was a MISOGYNIST. That word, ehn. In his jovial manner however, he declared the word a big word for which he would have to go and check his dictionary and if not found, his ‘bigger book’ the encyclopaedia. Funny him. I decided to look up the word someday and I found this particular definition I’m so in love with, for ‘misogynism’ actually, ‘the act of conditioning women to feel bad about being women’. I have met many men who are guilty of this definition, they want to define a lady by flimsy and excusable things such as hairdo, relationship status, and blah. Okay now I remember it, how a friend’s boyfriend told her to go and make her hair ASAP before he arrives town because he could not imagine walking with her on the street or people will think man and man are walking. Crime- she went on a low cut! ‘SMH’ for misogynists o. They are so myopic. And the havoc they’re wrecking by the day? God help ‘em girls.
Candid opinion- I believe women should value themselves for who they are and who God has made them to be because women have got so much going on in their lives, so much business to mind than competing with men.
To all the misogynists out there, men and women alike, cos I know a handful of women who’ve got womanhood all mixed up too, to y’all- leave ‘em women alone and let the girls be! Peace.
N.B. If you’re having problems distinguishing both concepts- equality and equity, it’s very easy, just remove the ‘al’ in the former and we’re good!